Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(443): View more from Maryland

Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls

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(818): View more from California

I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.

Fav 5 6208 1909
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.

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(301): View more from Maryland

do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion

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(281): View more from Texas

She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

...

(281): View more from Texas

Exactly.

Fav 9 1010 2013
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(901): View more from Tennessee

No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce

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(651): View more from Minnesota

scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles

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