Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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