The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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