i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
