Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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