Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
