remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize