I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
