Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
