So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
