Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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