She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
How does one acquire holy water?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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