Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
