You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
