So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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