ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize