i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I can't put those talents on a resume
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
