So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize