Welp...herpes.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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