its not stalking. its research.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
