we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize