we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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