pedialite and red bull = repair kit
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
