No more Irish car bombs ever.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
