I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I can't put those talents on a resume
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
