Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
