Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
