when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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