I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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