The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
