i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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