you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
