mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
