just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Bring me that man meat
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
