You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
