Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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