i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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