Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize