I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Randomize
