DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
