We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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