So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
