I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
