just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
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