Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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