I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
