I've blown a few things in my day
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize