Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
