I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
