Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Randomize
