I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Sorry about my life...
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