yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
