Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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