Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
im six kinds of drunk right now
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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