How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Randomize
