My hair reeks of homosexuality.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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