it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
