Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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