She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
