it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
