So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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