I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
