Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
