How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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