i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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