ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Randomize
