shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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