Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
