It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
